WE ALL HAVE A MENTAL "TRAY" THAT WE HOLD UP...

You know how it is – when you’re already flat out with the normal day to day rigours of life and one more problem/obligation/”yes” moment sends you over the edge.  It’ll manifest itself in different ways for each of us – a sharp comment to a loved one, secret tears session, an eating binge, an extra drink or three…..you know the feeling, that feeling when you just “snap”.

The “mental” tray idea came up in a session I had with a colleague when I was struggling my work/personal load just last week.  It got me thinking and this article is the result.

We all have a mental “tray” that we hold up.  On that tray can be many things and over time, the things on our “tray” can change – both in the need to actually be there and the weight of their importance.  So, I’ve got an exercise that I’d like to share with you.  It might just help next time you find yourself “snapping”.

Imagine the main priorities in your life are on a tray that you hold over your head.  Remember, this is your life and your tray.  The first mistake we all make is to compare the load of our tray with those around us.  There’s the start of an issue right there…..you know those people who constantly want to be busier/more important/more stressed than anyone else?  That’s the sort of competition you don’t want to enter!

Let’s get back to the priorities on YOUR tray.  The best way to determine the priorities on YOUR tray is to take the time to write down the main focuses in your life.  The contents of my tray for instance consist of work/business (because I own my own business and it is very important to me), my husband (because I love him, I care for his welfare, I enjoy his company, he supports me), my dog (because she loves me unconditionally and everyone needs that!), my stepchildren and their families, my own family and my friends, and my own training time.

Full tray right? Yep. It comes with a host of positive stuff and also a lot of negative stuff but it all deserves space on my tray and I’m pretty good at holding it up. At different times, the things on my tray will come to the fore in terms of the time/attention needed but they all have their permanent space on my tray.
 
Sometimes though we get things dumped (either by fate, our own mismanagement, or other people’s actions) on our tray that we don’t have room for and that’s when we reach our tipping point…….and life’s funny like that, it’s going to happen.
 
When we “lose it”, “snap” or feel overwhelmed by life it’s usually because we’ve let things get on our tray that really don’t deserve to be there.  Then all the small annoyances in life become bigger and bigger in our minds – usually to the detriment of those things that we have decided belong on our tray.

Learning to say “no” to things that will deflect your time and attention away from the things on your tray is a good place to start. Unexpected emergencies (big and small) will happen but if your tray is balanced, you’ll be in a much better place mentally to deal with them efficiently and expediently.

Look at your tray and what’s on it.  Remember, it’s your tray so what you decide is important enough to be on it is entirely your decision. Can you hold it up? If the answer isn’t “yes”, then maybe you need to start making the load lighter by asking for help or getting rid of stuff that really isn’t deserving of a place on your mental tray.